Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
