I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
