Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I supernannyed him into submission
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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