i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
