Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize