That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
