her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
