3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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