I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
