i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
