I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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