do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
