we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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