So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
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