i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
