piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
