Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
