I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
