yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
