Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
