I wish I only lived at night.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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