this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
