You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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