You can't motorboat a personality
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
