I am in a vortex of obligation.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
