I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
