I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
