i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just got carded by a ten year old.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
