The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
how does that bad decision feel?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
