this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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