is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
