I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
