on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
