ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
