i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
