I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
