I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
