did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just invented taco cereal.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
