How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
