so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
