He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
