The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
