Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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