I'm going to rape someone's good day.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
