I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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