Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
babies were throwing up all over the place
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
