what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
