I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
