He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
