I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she smelled like a LAN party
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
