she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
