C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
