Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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