Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
