i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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