I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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