get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
